Separation Anxiety. It’s good thing.

Unless you’re running away from an alligator, resistance to toxic systems can and should be passive. The more we move into toxicity, the more toxic become.  Research suggests when the brain comes under significant stress, its capacity to act rationally and capture images is impaired.  During emotional hijacking, images perceived by eye and brain can be actually altered.  Alternative “truths” appears. “I never saw that car!” Yet, it was there – quite visible – and the brain did not register the image successfully. Coverage of the country’s leadership reveals examples of how things which don’t exist are seen as real, and how things which exist are unseen. When someone says he saw “thousands of people celebrating…”… when none were, he is certain the images he describes were real.  The need occurs to alter the altered reality.  Efforts to challenge and change are almost certain to fail.  One has very little, if any, power to change another’s image memory.

“The more committed we are to a belief, the harder it is to relinquish, even in the face of overwhelmingly contradictory evidence…..Despite how certainty feels, it is neither a conscious choice nor even a thought process.  Certainty and similar states of ‘knowing what we know’ arise out of involuntary brain mechanisms that, like love or anger, function independently of reason.

(“On Being Certain” – Robert Burton, MD)

The Emotional Triangle teaches us to avoid “going to the inside position” with the mistaken belief we can alter another’s reality.  It is better to remain separate, pay attention to our own reactiveness and use the insight to develop our own emotional maturity. When on the outside position, stay there.

Summary advice for all Healing Leaders:

  • Work on your own emotional maturity.
  • Self-define, especially in the face of resistance and sabotage.
  • Watch out for those triangles!

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